Bertwinkletoes, Cobbler Extraordinaire Bertwinkletoes believes a good pair of shoes can take you anywhere. Although, given the choice, she prefers a short stroll to somewhere serving cake. Created by Andy at We Are Bert Ltd, she is a cobbler with a copper wire ponytail, a keen eye for detail and very firm opinions about people who tread down the backs of their shoes. “Use a shoehorn,” she mutters. “We’re trying to maintain standards.” Her feet are made from helicopter wiper gearbox parts, with metal cotton reels inlaid. Once involved in keeping a pilot’s view clear, they now keep Bertwinkletoes firmly planted at her workbench. Red LEDs mark her left foot and green her right, a useful arrangement when demonstrating a little dance in a newly repaired pair of boots. She calls it quality control. The other Berts call it showing off. Her polished legs were once helicopter thermostatic valves, accustomed to responding when things got hot. These days, they remain admirably cool, even when a customer announces that their favourite shoes need repairing “by yesterday”. Her transparent electrical meter body means you can see straight through her. This makes bluffing rather difficult, but she insists a cobbler should always be clear about what’s going on inside. Her arms began life as medical lighting probes, bringing light to places that needed a closer look. With audio plugs for hands, she is now beautifully equipped to connect with her customers, although she occasionally gets her wires crossed over whether they asked for new soles or a little soul music. Her head comes from the light-source assembly of a vintage microscope, which once sent reflected light upwards to illuminate tiny details. It is an excellent pedigree for someone who can spot a loose stitch at twenty paces. Behind it sits her copper wire ponytail, swept back for business and just unruly enough to suggest she might be persuaded onto the dance floor. Andy has brought these discarded parts together by hand, giving each a new purpose and Bertwinkletoes a life of her own. And her professional advice? “Look after your soles, leave room for your toes, and never underestimate where an old pair of boots might take you.” Dimensions – weight – 567g height-165mm width-80mm depth inc arms and hair 120mm